Over My Head Read online

  "And Josh?" she adds before I can hang up. "You're not going to let these guys beat you up, too, are you?"

  "No, Mom."

  Next I text Des to make sure he got home okay. I start to put my phone away, but it vibrates with an incoming call.

  "Dude," Des says as soon as I answer. "Is everything cool?"

  "Yeah, it's quiet. I think the only danger I'm in is if Ampora decides to come outside and bust my chops again. That girl throws a mean punch."

  Des laughs. "I guess the tough chica gene runs in the Lopez family."

  It's true. Marina doesn't take crap from anybody.

  "Could you send Marina a message?" I ask Des. "Fill her in on what's happening."

  "Sure. You're actually staying there all night?"

  "Yeah, but I don't think anything's going to happen. Ampora's worried about her sisters, so I'm going to see them safe to school before heading to Sunny Hill with her."

  "Which is why you want Marina to know before you show up at school with her sister."

  "Pretty much."

  "And then what are you going to do?" Des asks. "Because this problem isn't going away."

  "I know. We'll have to figure something out. Maybe Chaingang can give us some advice."

  "Or Cory," Des says. "Have you heard from him yet? I'm dying to know what he did to Erik."

  That reminds me. I promised Cory I'd go talk to Auntie Min, which I really don't have time for right now. How do things get so complicated this fast?

  "Cory's got his own clock," I tell Des. "You never know when or where he'll show up. I'll see you tomorrow."

  "Dude," Des says and he hangs up.

  I stash the phone in my pocket and stand up. I'm thinking of taking a walk around Ampora's house just to get the lay of the land. But then I see headlights turn onto the street, moving slowly in my direction.

  Marina

  So I wake to a text from Theo, but no matter how I look at it, it's all business. He thanks me for talking to Auntie Min, wonders if I can get in touch with Cory to see what we can get from him. Do I know how to contact Cory? Can I talk to him?

  I try to read between the lines, but there's nothing there. It's like we never kissed. Like it didn't mean anything. I end up feeling stupid, like one of the women in Mamá's telanovelas who are always mooning over some guy or another.

  Then my morning gets more complicated when I read the email from Des.

  Ampora? Josh is guarding my father's house to protect them all from the Kings?

  What's wrong with this picture? Just everything.

  And then I realize that Josh getting Des to keep me in the loop is his way of letting me know that it's okay between us. That he trusts me and wants to keep me involved and in his life, even if that means he has to let me know he's with Ampora because he knows exactly how I feel about my sister from hell.

  Except, if I'm reading Des's email right, Suelo and Ria are also in danger. As are Papá and Elena.

  What the hell has Ampora done now?

  And of course, while Josh is being so open with me again, I'm sitting here holding another big fat secret from him. I have to tell him. Except what if Theo's right and it just sets Josh off?

  I'm feeling so miserable that I almost snap at Mamá when she pops her head into my bedroom to see if I'm awake. But I stop myself in time.

  "Is everything all right, mija?" she asks.

  I nod and pretend to rub sleep from my eyes.

  "I'm just trying to wake up."

  She studies me for a moment, then decides to take me at my word. As soon as she leaves, I return Theo's text. I tell him I'll try to track down Cory. I press Send before I write something stupid like that I miss him or something. I don't even know if I do. I don't know what I'm feeling right now.

  I rush through a shower and breakfast, grab my stuff for school, then I'm out the door. On the way to Des's place I check for a text from Theo, but he hasn't responded yet. By the time Des steps out of his house, I'm waiting for him on the street out front.

  "Dude!" he says when he sees me. "Did you check your messages?"

  "That's why I'm here. What happened with Ampora?"

  He tells me the story as we walk to school, and I can't stop interrupting with questions. It all seems so ridiculous. What were they even thinking to go off and stalk Erik like that? And why's Agent Solana tracking Josh's phone? Then there's this whole business with Cory.

  "You should have seen it," Des says. "He went right through that garage door like some kind of ninja ghost."

  "What did he do once he got in?"

  Des shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe he ate him. Big bad wolf steps up and Little Red Riding Erik is no more."

  "Cory's a coyote, not a wolf, and can I just say ew?"

  "Really, dude? After what he did to Josh? After what he called you?"

  "You don't kill somebody for that."

  He gives another shrug. "Well, I wouldn't miss him."

  "Where do the Kings come into all of this?"

  "That happened when we were walking home from Erik's."

  I nod when he starts to talk about hearing Trucho Salazar's pimped-out Hudson. Everybody knows the sound of that stupid car.

  "You should have seen Josh," Des says. "I figure we're dead, but he's ready to take them all on by himself. He tells me to run—like I'm going to leave him—but then Agent Solana shows up and we find out that your sister's in the car."

  "Hanging with them?"

  It seems hard to believe, considering how Ampora's so down on the gangs. Sure, she dresses like some skanky gangsta chica, but she's no more a member of the RKs than I am. I always figured it was just something she did to look tough and show people not to mess with her.

  "No," Des says. "It looked like they were—who knows what they were planning to do, but she didn't want to be there, and Josh just went all fierce on Trucho. I don't know what he said to him, but dude, those bangers just took off."

  I shake my head. This isn't good. I can't believe Ampora would have gotten involved with the Kings, no matter what the reason. She should have been thinking of how this would put Suelo and Ria in danger. But that's Ampora for you. She doesn't think about anybody but herself. She never thinks about consequences.

  "So Agent Solana drove you over to Ampora's house?" I ask.

  Des nods. "We let them off and then the cop drove me home. I would have stayed, but, you know. If my parents ever caught me, I'd be grounded just like you. I can't believe Josh's mom is cool with him staying out all night."

  "She knows he can take care of himself."

  "But still …"

  "She also knows he wouldn't do it unless it was important," I add.

  It makes me a little jealous. Mamá and Papá would go ballistic if they ever learned the truth about what I've got under my skin. Elena would be sad and I don't know about my stepdad. He's actually pretty open-minded and cool. But it wouldn't make any difference. Mamá would have me in a convent so fast in a last-ditch effort to save my soul.

  We've reached Sunny Hill. I look to the picnic tables under the palm and eucalyptus trees, but Theo's not sitting in his usual spot. I know he also skipped most of yesterday.

  "What's up with Chaingang?" Des asks when he sees where I'm looking.

  I shake my head. "No idea."

  The first bell rings. Five minutes until homeroom. I'm tempted to skip myself and go looking for Cory, but Des would insist on coming along, and if I haven't told Josh about the guy that's gunning for him, I'm sure not about to tell Des first.

  "We better get moving," I say and start for the door.

  On the way to our lockers, a light-skinned Mexican kid pretends to shoot me with a finger gun, then blows me a kiss as he walks away. Des turns to watch him go, then looks at me.

  "Oh crap," he says. "Do you know who that was?"

  "Not by name," I tell him, "but I know who he runs with."

  The Riverside Kings.

  I feel a little sick. So not only did Ampora put the r
est of the family in danger, she brought it outside of the barrio as well. And if they're threatening me, they might go after Mamá and my stepdad, too.

  If Ampora was in front of me right now, I think I might actually punch her in the face like she deserves.

  "Marina?" Des says.

  I find a wry smile.

  "It's okay," I tell him. "We'll get this worked out."

  He gives me a doubtful look.

  "Come on," I say. "We're going to be late for homeroom."

  Josh

  When I see that car coming toward me, my first thought is that the Kings are making their play. I start to slip behind the trunk of the palm where I plan to wait and see what happens, but then I realize the vehicle's not tricked-out enough to be a bandas car. A moment later I recognize Solana behind the wheel. I step out from under the palm and walk to the street. He pulls in across from Ampora's house and lowers his window.

  "Everything quiet?" he asks.

  His voice is pitched low, but my Wildling senses lets me hear him easily, even over the low murmur of the car engine. I nod.

  "Let's talk," he says.

  Even though he's saved my butt twice in as many days, I'm not sure I can trust him. But I'd like to know what he really wants from me, so I give him another nod and cross the street. He kills the engine as I go around the front of the car and slide into the passenger's seat. I twist around with my back to the door so that I can look at him.

  "So let's talk," I say.

  "What do you want to talk about?"

  Cops and psychiatrists—they're all the same. They want you to do the talking. But I'm not playing that game tonight.

  "How about we start with who are you, really?" I say. "Why are you still following me around?"

  He holds both palms open between us like he's got nothing to hide.

  "I'm just what you see," he says.

  I shake my head. "No, you're more than just a cop and I know you're not a shapechanger."

  Solana smiles and his eyebrows go up. "Yeah? How do you know that?"

  "Hey, I can just get out of the car right now," I tell him. "I don't have to put up with this."

  "Fair enough."

  He leans back in his seat and looks out the front windshield.

  "I grew up in Santo del Vado Viejo," he says after a moment of contemplation. "In the barrio. But my best friend lived just west of town on the Kikimi rez in the foothills of the mountains. I spent pretty much every weekend out there. My parents didn't mind because it kept me away from the bandas."

  He smiles, still looking out the windshield, but I'm guessing he's looking a million miles away into the past.

  "Man, I wanted to be an Indian," he says. "Jimmy—my friend Jimmy Morago—he was training in the Warrior Society and I got to train right alongside of him. But I could only go so far because I wasn't Kikimi." Solana turns to look at me. "Lots of tribes have a Warrior Society, but the Kikimi have two. One follows the warrior's path like you'd expect, but the other society, they're all shaman. They protect the tribe's spiritual well-being, guarding against the monsters that are always circling around, looking for an opening."

  "What do you mean by monsters?" I have to ask.

  "They're skinwalkers," he says. "Shapechangers."

  I don't know what any of this is supposed to mean, but I think I see where it's going.

  "You mean Wildlings," I say.

  He shakes his head. "No, the monsters literally have to put on the skin of whatever they want to change into. They can even put on the skin of a dead person and become that person—or at least, look just like them."

  I guess he mistakes the look of distaste on my face for disbelief.

  "You've seen kids turn into animals," he says, "and you have a problem with this?"

  "No, it's just—you know—pretty sick."

  "That's why the Kikimi call them monsters. They'll do anything to feed on the souls of the People—that's what Kikimi means in their own language."

  "Where do they even come from?"

  Solana sighs. "See, what they are isn't even the worst of it. The monsters are made by black witches who kidnap and rape young girls, then take their babies and raise them into these amoral creatures."

  "Okay, that's really sick."

  "I know. That's what Jimmy was training to fight against, and I so wanted to be fighting right at his side, but the big mysteries of the shaman's Warrior Society are only for people born to the tribe. I got to be with Jimmy until it was time for his vision quest, and then I was cut out."

  I try to imagine being told I couldn't hang with Des anymore and can't.

  "What did you do?" I ask.

  "There was nothing I could do. But Ramon—that's Jimmy uncle and the main shaman out on the rez—he knew I was hurting. He took me aside the night Jimmy was going on his quest and told me to meet him at this abandoned ranch in the north part of the rez. He said my people had their own mystery traditions and it was time I learned about them."

  His gaze goes distant again as his memories pull him back in time. I take the opportunity to do a quick check of the street and the area around Ampora's house. Everything's still quiet.

  "So did you go?" I ask when I look back at him.

  He nods. "Sure. It was strange. Out back of the ranch house there was a campfire with all these dark-haired, dark-skinned old men sitting around it. They were Mexicans, but they had more Toltec in them than Spanish, if you know what I mean."

  I shake my head.

  "Indian blood," he explains. "Back in the day, everybody would claim their ancestors were Spanish because the Europeans looked down on Indians even more than they did Mexicans. Most of us have Indian blood, but it doesn't seem to matter so much anymore, except how the tone of your skin will probably always make a difference. The lighter you are, the easier you fit in.

  "Anyway, it ran strong in these guys. They were lean and wiry—a tough-looking crew—and even though I trusted Ramon, my heart still sank a little when he just introduced me to them and then walked away."

  "Jeez," I say, knowing how I'd feel.

  Solana smiles. "Sorry, I'm falling into storytelling mode. I start thinking about those days and old habits come back. Really, it wasn't so bad as all that. They were a tough old crew, but they treated me well. There was only one other kid there and he had a few years on me. He'd been studying with them for three years by the time I got there."

  "Studying what? And who were they?"

  Solana gives me another smile. "Mysteries. In the barrio people call them los tíos—the uncles. Some people dismiss them as a bunch of old men who sit around drinking mescal tea, but they're really warriors—just like the Kikimi shaman.

  "The Toltecs believed that everyone has a parasite living inside their minds—a thing that tells you lies and then feeds on the fear that the lies bring. Los tíos believe that too, but they also know that sometimes the parasite can break free and then they have to deal with it, just like the Kikimi do their monsters.

  "The parasite inside yourself—each person has to handle that on their own. But it takes a specialized knowledge to deal with the ones that run free. And then there's the parasite that lives inside the dream of the world—you really don't want to face that if you're not prepared."

  "You're losing me," I tell him. "What's this dream of the world?"

  "According to the Toltecs," Solana says, "everybody walking around is really asleep. The dream they live in is this world—where everything is a certain agreed-upon way because that's what we're all brought up to believe from the time we're kids. All those individual dreams create a bigger dream, which becomes the dream of the world. It's kind of like Jung's idea of a shared subconscious, except hardly anybody wakes up from it. Those who do become warriors like los tíos. And their world is far more complex than ours."

  "So that's what you did? You studied with them and—what? Woke up?"

  Solana shakes his head. "I did study with them, but maybe I was too deeply asleep because I just
couldn't get it. It never felt real to me. With the Kikimi, what I loved was the physical training. There was some of that with los tíos, but also a lot more woo woo stuff. Like, they'd talk about this place called Aztlán, which is one of the worlds that lies invisible next to this one."

  I give him a sharp look. Is he talking about the otherworld that the cousins took us to? But he takes something else from my face.

  "Yeah, I know," he says. "And they say that los tíos can become hawks, or that they can put their souls in the body of a hawk, and that's how they know so much,because they can be anywhere and see everything."

  "They turn into hawks," I repeat to make sure I heard him right. "Like Wildlings."

  "I don't know. I never saw any of them change into a hawk—or any other animal, for that matter. I saw nothing to make me believe the world is anything other than what it seems. In the end, I became a cop instead, because that way I could actually see the results of what I was doing. Catch the bad guy and put him away."

  He falls quiet again.

  "Why are you telling me all of this?" I ask.

  "Because once kids started turning into birds and animals here in Santa Feliz, I realized that maybe los tíos weren't so woo woo after all. If Wildlings can exist, then maybe those spiritual dangers are real, too. Maybe the only way to get through it is to wake up."

  I nod, but I say, "I still don't see what it has to do with me."

  "Once I saw what was happening here," Solana says, "I went back to talk to los tíos. They told me to find you—the boy that becomes a mountain lion."

  "I've told you a million times, I'm not a—"

  Solana waves away my protest. "Say whatever you want, but it doesn't change what we both know is true."

  "Just because some bunch of old guys—"

  Solana cuts me off. "They're the ones who told me to find you and help protect you until you wake up. So that's what I'm going to do, whether you like it or not."

  I rub my face with my hands. I can't believe this. If it wasn't bad enough already that the cousins think I'm some charismatic emissary for their cause, now I've got a bunch of Mexican mystics, who can maybe turn into hawks, also convinced that I'm supposed to save the world. Or at least wake it up.